A Fruitful Outing
by LauraCynthia
Summary: Don't mess with Walter O'Brien. Especially in a grocery store. And don't insult him, either. Toby's POV of how Walter uses his brain once again to save Scorpion's butts.


"Stop!...I have a grenade, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

The guy holding a gun on them stiffened, his eyes darting back and forth between the group and Walter, who had just delivered that line cool as a cucumber. As though he was inviting a potential killer to tea instead of threatening him with a highly volatile explosive.

"You're lying," the man said, breathing heavily and shifting from one foot to the other. His arms were shaking slightly as he thrust the weapon towards them. The other grocery store customers had taken refuge behind various displays when the first shots were fired.

"I am incapable of lying….I can assure you that I am serious. _Dead _serious, which is what you are going to be if I throw it at you." Walter still maintained perfect composure. Toby glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw that he was indeed clutching something small and round in one hand. His thumb ran casually up and down the object, stroking it. _What's he playing at? _ Walter noticed Toby staring and caught his eye. _Was that a wink?_

"Uhh….you'd better listen to him. I wouldn't mess with Walter if I were you." Toby made sure to put just the right amount of fear in his voice, as though he expected the grenade to go off any minute. "He's definitely unhinged. You _don't_ want to get on his bad side."

"Yeah. I once saw him attack a waiter because he got his order wrong." This from Happy. Gun Man's eyebrows scrunched together. "Threw a bowl of hot soup at him. Poor guy….skin grafts are so painful…." She let the sentence trail off. _Plomeek, by any chance?_ Toby smirked. _Boy, he's _really_ sweating now…._

Paige shifted away from Walter's side and dropped to the ground slowly, as if she'd realized that her closeness to him implied trust that she shouldn't have in a psycho. Sylvester peeked out from behind a skid of potatoes, almost unnoticeable. The bags rustled and he disappeared again. _Like a scared rabbit. Can't hardly blame him…._

"Put down the gun and maybe I'll _think _about leaving the pin in it. Maybe…" Walter rubbed the object again.

Gun Man swallowed and seemed to regain his composure, straightening his stance and taking one step closer. But there were always signs. If one knew where to look. The artery pulsing in his temple had developed a distinct arrhythmia, he was blinking faster, and was that a top teeth raked roughly over the bottom lip for comfort? Oh, yes it was. "You're an idiot. Just give me the bearer bonds before I blow a hole in your head."

Walter flinched. "Are you calling me stupid?" He squeezed the object.

"Yeah…I am. Stupid. Idiot. Moron. Dunce." _Whoa, _thought Toby. _Death wish? Hello! _Gun Man punctuated each word with a thrust of the weapon. His finger slipped off the trigger. _He's sweating profusely. Do it now!_

Walter must have read his mind. With a fluid movement, he yanked something off the top of the object and threw it in Gun Man's direction.

Everything happened in slow motion. The guy jumped, tossing the gun into a bin of broccoli crowns. He scrambled away in the other direction. _Duck! _Toby rolled behind a display of oranges, pulling Happy with him. She didn't protest. Paige followed them, crouching low next to Happy. A soft yelp came from behind the Yukon Golds. Nobody else made a sound. _Where's Walter? He's just going to stand there?_ Toby shut his eyes and pushed his fingers into his ears. Waited for the explosion.

_Nothing._ He opened one eye. _What on earth…._

After a minute, he stood up and slowly walked over to where Walter stood. A series of loud shouts of "On your knees! NOW!" coming from the dairy aisle followed by sounds of a struggle and enough curse words to turn the air blue indicated that Cabe and his colleagues had caught up with Gun Man.

Toby grabbed Walter by the shoulder and turned him around. "A grenade? Where did you get a grenade?" He looked over his shoulder and saw Happy and Paige coming out from behind the oranges.

"Don't look at me," Happy shrugged, putting on an innocent face. _Genuine….not to mention kind of cute- grenade! _

"I'd like to know that, too," Paige said, hands on her hips.

"And baby makes three." Cabe came around the corner, an angry look on his face. "Where the H did you get live ammunition? You're just darn lucky it was faulty. Now I'm going to have to get the bomb squad in here, thanks to you."

"Is it safe to come out?" Sylvester asked. He was halfway out of cover already.

"I'm not sure," Cabe said.

Walter looked everybody in the eye. "Relax, guys. It's cool. No danger."

Toby frowned. "No danger? What are you talking about? It's a freaking grenade. The kind that kills."

Walter walked over to the object, bent down and picked it up. Everyone gasped. He tossed it overhand. Right in Toby's direction. Everybody ducked out of the way again.

_Not enough force!_ Toby leapt forwards. _Why am I doing this?_ _Insane! _he thought as he dove. _Though it gives a whole new meaning to 'fight or flight'….._ The object landed in his hands. He opened one eye, then let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. _Phew…._he grasped the reddish pink object carefully. _Wait a minute….reddish pink?_

"A _pomegranate_?" He looked up at Walter, wide-eyed and incredulous. "You threatened a criminal with a _pomegranate_?" He threw the object on the ground with a sm_ack!_. Paige and Happy were both decidedly unhappy. Sylvester blushed like he'd just wet his pants needlessly. Cabe's jaw just hung open.

"I told you it wasn't dangerous. Quite nutritious, actually. You're not allergic to it, are you? And statistically it's likely he wasn't either. I was also very careful not to lob it at his head or vital organs." He said all this very matter-of-factly while retrieving the fruit from the ground. "When he threatened us, I was not looking where I was going and backed into the bin of pomegranates. That's what gave me the idea. Did you know that the word 'grenade' actually comes from 'pomegranate'? Medieval Latin for 'seeded apple'." He opened the split fruit and popped a seed into his mouth. "It was rather fortunate we were in a grocery store. I briefly considered employing the old 'slipping on a banana peel' gag, but was uncertain how I could get him to step on it." Another seed. "We are all still alive and well, and the bearer bonds are secure. All in a day's work." He raised the fruit like a glass in toast.

"Well, I guess I should _thank_ you for scaring our pants off," Toby muttered sarcastically. "Nice bluff." The others murmured their begrudging agreements. Cabe still looked like he wanted to kill him, though, but he was slightly less rigid than he'd been.

"It was, wasn't it?" Walter nodded, popping a third seed into his mouth.


End file.
